


Congratulations, Beautiful

by AbiQuill



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/F, Flirting, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25462966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbiQuill/pseuds/AbiQuill
Summary: Eleanor found a note telling her she doesn’t belong in the neighborhood, and she’s convinced it’s from Tahani. After stealing and reading Tahani’s diary, though, Eleanor realizes that Tahani thinks she’s a genuinely good person… and that puts all of their flirting in a whole new light. Does Tahani actually want Eleanor?
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 6
Kudos: 145





	Congratulations, Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a reimagining of the events of "The Good Place," S1:E3: 'Tahani Al-Jamil.'

“You have to return that diary, Eleanor,” Chidi said.

“Why should I? I stole it fair and square and I’m going to prove she’s a bad person,” Eleanor replied. Eleanor seethed inside. She had known Tahani-types on earth, and none of them were ever as good as they claimed to be. Okay, well, Eleanor had to admit she’d never known a Tahani-type who was as much of a total babe as actual Tahani – or one who could make scones that forking delicious – but even more reason to suspect Tahani wasn’t all she seemed. People that beautiful and talented never had to be good, too.

And if Tahani was going to go around writing notes telling Eleanor she didn’t belong here, Eleanor was going to prove that Tahani didn’t belong here either. Like Tahani was that much better than Eleanor. Ha. _Ooh-hoo, my godmother was Princess Diana and I’ve done so much charitable work in her name. Pip-pip cheerio, darling! Keep calm, wot wot._ Gross. If Eleanor had lived Tahani’s life, maybe she wouldn’t have needed to drink every weekend. Tahani with her perfect friends and family connections. It’s not like Tahani had ever had to deal with a mom who couldn’t be bothered to–

Eleanor and Chidi both jumped as the plant that Tahani had brought over as a gift the day before erupted into flame.

After staring at it for a moment or two, Chidi turned back to Eleanor. “You see? This is happening because of you. Everyone here _belongs_ here, Eleanor. _You_ might not, but Tahani _does_. I can’t believe you managed to spend a whole day with her and not see that she led an incredible, useful life of philanthropy. She’s a good person.”

“She is not! Did you know she told me her full name means ‘Congratulations, Beautiful!’ in English? How self-centered do you have to be to say that? Oh, and she said her modeling career was cut short because of her ‘ample bosoms.’” Eleanor paused a moment. “Though, she isn’t wrong on those; god, with her curves, she should’ve gunned for a Playboy centerfold. Honestly… feeling a little turned on now.”

“Eleanor,” Chidi said with exasperation. “She can’t help her name… or her breasts. She was just telling you facts about her life. She’s a good person and wants to make friends. That’s not self-centered. I bet you told her stuff about your life, too.”

“Not a chance,” Eleanor replied quickly. “She said that she wanted to go around to all the neighbors so it will feel like she ‘belongs’ here. I’m telling you – she wrote me that note. And this diary will prove it.”

Chidi sighed. “Listen, Eleanor. I told Michael I’d meet with him now to discuss finding a new hobby, but I think you should put that diary back where you found it.” Eleanor started to say something but Chidi cut her off. “WITHOUT reading it first.”

Eleanor huffed. “Fine. Go meet Michael, I’ll put the diary back.”

Chidi opened the front door, then stopped and gave Eleanor a long look. “Great. So, I’ll see you tomorrow for our lesson, then?”

Eleanor nodded. Chidi gave her a small, cautious smile. “Okay. Put the diary back. And… just open your heart a little. Tahani is a good person. Okay?”

Eleanor plastered a smile on her face and gave Chidi a thumbs-up sign. “Okay.” With one last look, Chidi left. Eleanor stood in the silence of her small, tiny, diminutive, little cottage and looked at the wall of clown photos. “What are you all looking at?” she demanded.

Then she opened the diary.

  


_Good Place: Day 1_

_Dear Diary,_

_I must say, I am awfully excited to be here. Michael says that I was simply a splendid person, which of course I knew already, and that the neighborhood will be filled with interesting people. My house is perfect – an absolute mansion, probably a little larger than Kamilah’s country estate even. She would be green with envy if she could see it (oh, I wish she could). Mother and Father would be so proud of me, too. I’ve made it to the Good Place. I am a good person, just as good as Kamilah and so there. Michael even said my soulmate is here! What a joy! Of course, I really did think that George Clooney and I were a match made in Heaven – if you’ll pardon the expression – but it seems that Amal was really more his type in the end. And then I was bitterly disappointed when Janelle Monáe said she needed to focus on her career. But never mind that, my real soulmate is here! I’ve longed for this my entire life. All I’ve ever wanted was someone who loved me for me. I spent my whole life on earth surrounded by people, but I always felt so alone. But far from being alone, now I’m to be always with good people. And Michael even says that tonight I can throw a welcome party! I’m sure my gala will top anything any of my new neighbors ever experienced on earth. Oh, what a treat they have in store for them! They’re so lucky they ended up in a neighborhood with me!_

  


_Good Place: Day 2_

_Dear Diary,_

_I must say, it isn’t quite what I expected. We’re having difficulties in the neighborhood – today we woke to destructive giraffes and all of my dresses had converted into the ugliest synthetic fabric I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of Dior’s 2011 collection; if only John Galliano had asked for my advice before sending_ those _designs down the runway. Of course, after seeing the damage to the neighborhood, I helped to organize a clean-up crew, but it did very little good as this afternoon we had a trash storm. That’s not the whole of it, though. My soulmate, Jianyu, is a monk who took a vow of silence. I thought perhaps he might break that vow now – ‘til death do us part and all that – but he won’t speak, not even to me. And worst of all, I don’t think he finds me the least attractive. I don’t know what’s wrong, but he won’t kiss me or even hold my hand. He has his own prayer room in my mansion – I suppose ‘our’ mansion, though he mostly keeps to his room – and I rarely see him. Well, it’s only the second day, perhaps he’s shy. But I’ve eaten all my meals alone, besides the one at the party. And even then, I felt alone. Surrounded by happy people with their soulmates, and I was all alone._

_\--_

_Oh, the party. It went absolutely splendidly, as I knew it would. I wore a yellow gown that perfectly set off my skin and hair, and I felt sure that Jianyu would be so impressed with me that he would finally speak. But no, the night ended and still not a word. Nor a, shall we say, lustful look? It’s as if he’s impervious to all of my charms. But, I suppose that might be the way of it with a soulmate. There’s a woman in the neighborhood, though, Eleanor Shellstrop, and I caught a glimpse of her eating handfuls of prawns, which, while ill-behavior, somehow made her stand out to me. She wore a wonderfully short black dress and I could hardly tear my eyes from her legs. She may be unfortunately short, but she has gorgeous legs. And lovely blue eyes. I don’t think she likes me much – I saw her roll those very eyes during my toast – but it’s better than Jianyu, who is a complete blank. She lives in a very tiny cottage next to me. It makes me think, perhaps, she doesn’t like me because she was a better person than me. Here I am, all ostentation (though only because I do enjoy entertaining and I need the space if I’m to be the hostess of the neighborhood) and she has chosen a small cottage for eternity. What a truly peaceful soul she must have. Even here I feel the need to impress, but she has tapped into her true self. I feel like I could talk to her – really talk to her._

Eleanor stopped reading. Tahani thought that _she_ , Eleanor Shellstrop, was a good person? And Tahani wasn’t happy with Jianyu? Then who had written the note? Chidi had suggested the note came from Eleanor’s own psyche, and not from a neighbor at all. Could that be it? And, if Tahani wasn’t happy with Jianyu, what was with all the little hints she’d been dropping at Eleanor all day? She’d called Eleanor a flirt, and of course, she referenced her own ‘ample bosom.’ If she only wanted Eleanor as a friend, why boop her on the nose? Eleanor shook her head. No, she was reading too much into this. Wasn’t she?

Eleanor suddenly felt a little guilty for having pried into Tahani’s diary, though it had been worth it for the comments on her legs and eyes. Eleanor knew Chidi wasn’t her soulmate, since she didn’t actually belong here, so she supposed there was nothing wrong with appreciating Tahani’s looks. Even though Tahani was a stuck-up giraffe with a mansion, her cappuccino skin, curvy hips, and toned arms had definitely captured Eleanor’s attention. Yup, she’d hit it.

But now, she had the return the diary, hopefully unnoticed by Tahani.

  


\--------

  


Eleanor had put on a black shirt and pants, and snuck across the wide lawn of Tahani’s mansion. No one locked their doors in the good place ( _Suckers_ , thought Eleanor), so she easily snuck in through one of Tahani’s kitchens. After carefully listening to make sure no one was around, Eleanor tip-toed into the foyer and replaced the diary carefully in its drawer. Then she heard a sobbing noise. _Not my problem, I should leave_ , she thought. Then she remembered how lonely Tahani felt. She followed the sounds of sobbing until she found Tahani – dressed in a gorgeous sheer white dressing gown – curled up on a chaise lounge.

Eleanor knocked softly on the partially opened door. Tahani, Kleenex in hand, turned her tear-stained face to the door. “Oh, hello, Eleanor!” she chirped, quickly affixing a fake smile to her face. “Sorry, I was just cleaning up.”

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

Tahani looked at her for a moment with her fake smile, then broke into a sob. “Desperately.”

Eleanor went to sit by Tahani. “What’s up?”

“It’s Jianyu. Something feels like it’s missing. I know he took a vow of silence, but he won’t even talk to me, his soulmate. And I adore talking!”

“You do,” Eleanor agreed.

“And it’s more than that. Eleanor, you don’t know what it’s like to be in paradise and feel like everything’s wrong.”

“Well, I may not know exactly what you mean, but I have an idea…”

“No, Eleanor. With Jianyu, it feels like we’re miles apart, spiritually. And you and Chidi are always together. He may live in a flat in town, but he’s always at your cottage.” Here, she erupted into fresh tears. “Your lovely, small, adorable environmentally-friendly cottage that’s all yours without any lackluster soulmate lurking in a wing of his own. Oh Eleanor, I just feel like even with all of this space I’m so crowded in this house. I wish I had my own little cottage.”

Eleanor looked around incredulously. Surely Tahani didn’t mean that. But Eleanor also knew what it was like to need some time away from a partner it just wasn’t working out with – even if she was usually the one her partner was trying to get away from. And she’d promised Chidi she’d try to think more about the needs of others.

“Hey, you wanna come over? We can watch a movie together or something, ask Janet for some margaritas? Then you can tell me all about Jianyu.”

“What about Chidi?”

“He’s staying at his apartment tonight. Early meeting with Michael. And… you know, things aren’t perfect with us, either.”

“Really, Eleanor? Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, but I would love to spend the evening with you. Just give me a minute to change out of my dressing gown, and let’s walk over together.”

  


\---------

Now that they were sitting next to each other on Eleanor’s bed, Eleanor realized how good Tahani smelled. Earlier, when they’d gone around the neighborhood together, she’d thought the delicious scent came from the cinnamon scones Tahani had insisted on baking and giving to each resident, one-by-one. But now Eleanor realized that it was just Tahani.

Tahani had changed into what Eleanor was sure she thought was casual – a black silk button-up blouse and a jewel-tone silk floral midi-skirt. Eleanor, trying to be kind, had told Tahani she could pick what they watched, and she’d picked some British thing called _The Vicar of Dibley_. It was going to be a long night. Luckily, Janet had provided two pitchers of margaritas (one frozen, one on the rocks), and Eleanor was not shy about partaking. Tahani had wanted champagne at first, but if she got to choose the show, Eleanor got to choose the drinks.

Eleanor hadn’t intended to be on her bed with Tahani, but in the bedroom the entire wall became a television, and that had seemed too good to pass up. And Tahani hadn’t seemed to mind at all (“It’ll be like a sleepover!” she’d enthused). It seemed perfect, until Tahani chose _The Vicar of Dibley_ , and then Eleanor had started to miss her smartphone and mindlessly scrolling newsfeeds while having a show on in the background.

Two drinks and an episode in, Tahani started to sniffle again. “Oh Eleanor, you’re so kind to me. And I’m worried you must hate me.”

“Hate you?”

“For the way I’ve been objectifying you. I mean, I essentially tricked you into saying to me ‘Congratulations, Beautiful’ and then called you a flirt for it. And I know you have a soulmate, but I can’t help but say these things to you and I don’t know why. It’s like a compulsion. And I know you were a good person on earth – so was I! We’d never betray our soulmates. But can it only be a coincidence that we’re both having problems with our soulmates? It’s just… I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you, at your height. Oh, I’m sure my therapist, Esther Perel, would say this is all because of a misplaced love for Jianyu.”

Despite the height comment, Eleanor had to admit she was intrigued. She had felt nothing but pure loathing for Tahani until she’d read that diary a few hours earlier, but even through the loathing she had to admit that her pulse quickened at the sight of Tahani’s hips swaying as she paraded around in her platform wedges.

Eleanor turned on her side, facing Tahani with her whole body. “Well… you know, maybe it’s Jianyu at fault, not you.”

“What do you mean?” Tahani said with a hiccup.

“I mean, he may not speak, but he has eyes. And girl, you have a rockin’ bod.”

Tahani laughed. “Oh, Eleanor, you’re just saying that.”

“I’m not. I mean, look, I may not have been your biggest fan over the past four days, but I’m not blind. You have the thickest, glossiest hair I’ve ever seen, arms like Michelle Obama, and – in your own words – an ‘ample bosom’ that frankly, I can’t take my eyes off of.”

Tahani had turned her body towards Eleanor now. They were mere inches from each other on Eleanor’s bed. In Eleanor’s small cottage. With no one else nearby.

“Do you mean it?” Tahani had stopped crying. Her brown eyes were fixed on Eleanor’s face.

“Yeah, I mean… my only problem with you has been that your dresses don’t show nearly enough cleavage.”

“Well,” Tahani began with a small laugh and toss of her head, “I could just undo a few buttons on this shirt for you.” As she spoke, she unbuttoned her top three buttons. Eleanor caught a glimpse of black lace on Tahani’s bra. She could tell it was an expensive undergarment. “Is this helping with the cleavage problem?”

Eleanor nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, that’s a good start.”

“Well, I suppose, I might as well tell you I’ve been admiring your body, too.”

“You have?”

“Greatly. Especially your legs. They’re truly lovely.” Tanahi looked meaningfully down the length of Eleanor’s body. Eleanor had changed into a pair of flannel PJ trousers before she’d started in on the margaritas, and suddenly they felt too constraining.

“I suppose, if I get to see some cleavage, you might as well have access to my legs.” She untied the cotton laces, and shimmied (somewhat ungracefully) out of her PJ trousers. She had on a pair of lilac cotton underwear – not nearly as nice as Tahani’s bra, but at least they were clean.

“Lovely,” Tahani purred in her sexy accent.

“Well, this doesn’t seem quite fair, I mean, I’m half-naked,” Eleanor protested.

“I suppose that’s true,” said Tahani undoing more buttons on her shirt. Soon, she had it off. Her breasts were indeed full and more ample than Eleanor had imagined through her dresses. Tahani wasn’t doing justice to her silhouette in those clothes.

“Wow,” breathed Eleanor. Tahani’s bra was sheer, and through the lace Eleanor could see her nipples, already growing hard. “Can I, can I touch you?”

Tahani nodded, then added archly, “Only if you take off your shirt, too.”

Eleanor quickly complied. Her nude bra was nothing compared to Tahani’s undergarments. “Maybe I’ll just…” Eleanor began, but Tahani had already scooted in close and expertly undone Eleanor’s front clasping bra.

“God, you’re perfect,” Tahani said, taking in the sight. Eleanor had never thought she’d hear Tahani say that to her. She hadn’t even known she’d wanted to hear it. In an instant, Eleanor had leaned in and kissed her. It was quick, and surprised both of them. But then Tahani melted into the kiss, her mouth warm under Eleanor’s. Eleanor could feel the lace of Tahani’s bra pressed against her breasts, and the silk of Tahani’s skirt along the length of her bare thighs.

Eleanor reach around and unhooked Tahani’s bra, letting her breasts tumble free. Oh my god, Eleanor had never wanted to have something in her mouth so badly. Slowly, she moved down, circling Tahani’s nipples with her tongue. The sounds Tahani made were delightful as Eleanor moved from one to the other, cupping Tahani’s breasts in her hands. Then Eleanor moved her hands down to Tahani’s bum, gathering up the fabric of the silk skirt until she could feel Tahani’s skin and the straps of her lacy thong. 

“Listen, if Jianyu isn’t going to take advantage of this body, I am.”

“Yes, please, Eleanor,” Tahani fairly gasped.

“Congratulations, beautiful. You’re with Eleanor Shellstrop now.”

Tahani laughed, “Flirt.”

Eleanor smiled, and moved down Tahani’s torso until she reached the band of the silk skirt. Bunching the skirt up to Tahani’s waist, Eleanor drank in the sight of Tahani – bare-breasted with only a tiny, sheer thong covering her from the waist down. She gently kissed the triangle of fabric covering Tahani, and Tahani moaned as she felt Eleanor’s warm breath on her. Tahani obligingly arched her back as Eleanor pulled down Tahani’s thong, pushing her sex into Eleanor’s face. God, she smelled wonderful. Eleanor could hardly believe it. She brushed her fingers over Tahani’s pussy, then down the top of her thigh. Tahani parted her legs wider at Eleanor’s touch, and as she did, Eleanor moved her hands under Tahani’s ass, holding her curves in her palms. Eleanor leaned down and grazed her tongue across Tahani’s clit. Tahani gasped with pleasure.

Then Eleanor ran her tongue through Tahani’s folds in one long stroke, then another, then pushed the tip of her tongue inside Tahani. Tahani moaned and Eleanor felt her own wetness growing with every sound Tahani made. Then she turned her attention to Tahani’s clit, circling it slowly with her tongue at first, then building her speed to a quick consistent pace. “Oh Eleanor, Eleanor,” Tahani gasped. “Oh my god, don’t stop, please don’t stop!” Her body had begun to move inadvertently, and she pulsed gently closer to Eleanor, rising to meet her tongue. “Oh my god, omigod omigod,” she repeated faster and louder as her pulses became quicker. Eleanor concentrated on what she was doing with her tongue, enjoying the taste of Tahani, enjoying having power to make her buck and moan and shriek with delight.

A few moments longer and Tahani held her back arched in the air, moaning loudly, as Eleanor kept up her pace. When Tahani reached down and batted at Eleanor’s head, her “omigods” becoming quieter and her breathing becoming deeper and more regular, Eleanor slowed, circling her clit with one last slow stroke.

They were both quiet for a moment. “Well,” said Tahani, “I… I simply… I need just a moment…”

“Take all the time you need,” Eleanor replied, enjoying the sight of Tahani flushed with pleasure, completely naked save for her bunched-up silk skirt, her pussy wet and gleaming. After a few minutes of basking in her orgasm, Tahani turned and looked at Eleanor with a wicked glint in her eye. Eleanor felt a shiver of anticipation run down her spine.

Tahani pulled Eleanor to her, kissed her hard, and then said, “Eleanor, I’ve been told by – well, not _many_ , but several – notable people that I have the best tongue they’ve encountered. Would you care to have me try it on you? After all, one good fork deserves another!”


End file.
